As i watch the coffee drip down this morning, I am reminded of quiet and hearing the small noises. Hearing the peace for just a moment, for even as I type people are rousing and dropping things. What I relished for just a moment was gone just as quickly. However, each noise and movement reminds me of my family.

I don’t think I have pondered as much the suffering of Jesus as I have since my diagnosis. I have had chronic pain since i was young, but this latest step has done things to me mentally. Yesterday, I went to church and had to leave early because of pain. pain brings quiet to my life that i do not welcome.

Jesus walked into his pain and allowed it. In John 11, we read the story of Lazarus. He knew this would be the step that would incite the Jews, chief priests and Pharisees. “So from that day on they plotted to kill him.” John 11:53

Yet he came to Bethany, he walked toward the suffering. He stepped in to Mary and Martha’s grief and bore it. Mary came to him and crying.

When Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. ‘Where have you put him?’ He asked. ‘Lord,’ they told him, ‘come and see.’ Jesus wept.

John 11:34-35

I never have to wonder if Jesus loved well. I never have to think he doesn’t understand. Today, i ponder this anew. He truly knows our pain. He truly sees where i am and is with me.

On a side note, as I finish this today, my son caught a mouse in our basement this morning. He now is taking the mouse to an undisclosed destination and setting him free. This is my life.