lol. I could write an entire series on distraction. I look up from writing and i see dishes. Or the laundry just dinged. Or, it’s garbage day today. Or the dog is barking. Wash, spin, repeat. I started this “cry”in another post and just was not pleased with it. So, I set it aside and have been reading every day for a week. Time to begin anew and come at it from a different perspective.
There are three types of physical pain in my life right now. One, I burned the roof of my mouth and tongue last night. Literally thinking about that pain all the time. Two, there is the low hum of fibromyalgia that sits in the background all the time. Three, there is emergent pain that flashes in the form of migraines or other sharp pain. I have no warning with the last one.
If you think about pain in your own life, I think we can make the case of similarity. There is the annoying pains like bad drivers or pimples or dirty dishes. Then there is the low hum of grief, pain, loss that reminds with thoughts and circumstances. Lastly, there is pain that shocks and comes to the forefront without any warning.
One of the greatest errors I make right now is the compare/contrast game. It’s the wishing to be out of a season. Or in someone else’s season. This can add to the annoying pains of life, because I can hyper fixate on what I think is best for me and my life. And this is not living my life fully in Christ. This is sitting in the mud and griping.
It stops here. Let’s open the word of God together and look fully in this Psalm of beauty and truth. I need to replace the spiral with the truth.
”Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the adversary And gathered from the lands, From the east and from the west, From the north and from the south.“
Psalms 107:1-3 NASB1995
The very act of giving thanks changes my focus and reminds me of the big and the small ways God is providing and making a way.
”speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.“
Ephesians 5:19-21 NASB1995
The words of Paul to the Ephesians guide us here as we embark on Psalm 107. The Psalmist opens with “give thanks”. Paul reminds us to “give thanks for all things”.
Give thanks for God is good. His faithful love endures forever. Notice that the reasons to give thanks here have nothing to do with people or life events. We are to just give thanks.
I woke up grieving today. My eyes are full of tears and these words are hard for me. I want to give thanks in all things. Here’s what is beautiful about God. In the midst of tears, a small dog steps all over my Bible and drops a toy in my lap. I give thanks.
My husband walks in just now smiling. There was a time in our very recent past when I didn’t see that smile very often. He spent part of his day yesterday smoking ribs for us, describing the process and we all enjoyed the fruits of his labor.
Even more than that, I hear the rain. The beauty of the sound. I see the green of the grass. I see God’s faithfulness in the very darkest of nights. The thunder last night made us all jump! His power.
Picking up where I left off. I am memorizing Ephesians 6, specifically the armor of God. and I began thinking about the illusions I have in my life that are a besetting sin for me. My fear is rooted in my thoughts of the past.
When I remember things in my past that were very scary, losing our house in Woodridge or Joshua being laid off TWENTY TWO YEARS AGO. I recall these events in my mind, the scary things, like leaving our first house behind. Or, Joshua coming to tell me on my birthday that he was laid off. Friends, what I do not loop into these thoughts and that I now need to do, is remember all the ways God provided for us during that time.
This is the illusion for me. See, exactly the same things are happening now, Cara, I bet God will not provide for you. I bet God will leave you like He did then.
My life today is nothing like it was back then. Also, God did provide. He provided family and friends to encourage, to pay bills, to house us, to feed us, to love us. We were never alone. I remember walks with friends. I remember people helping us move. Someone provided a house cleaning for us.
So, now when I look at our circumstances now, that is what I want to remember. God’s faithful provision and care. I give thanks for memorizing Matthew 6 and the repeated times Jesus reminds us:
”So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“
Matthew 6:8, 30-31, 34 NASB1995
God knows we need Joshua to have a job. He knows your needs as well. He knows we need shelter over our heads. He knows your fears as well.
A huge takeaway for me is this. When I look to the past and fear an exact repeat of scary stuff, I need to remember that a lot of that is illusion. We see in a mirror dimly. (1 Cor 13) I see my past dimly. Today. This is where I focus. This is where God asks you to focus as well.
”Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.“
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NASB1995
https://bible.com/bible/100/2co.12.7-10.NASB1995
This is a very real, humbling post for me to publish. It has been gurgling and burbling in my mind for quite a long time. But this is not about me, and if one person is helped by knowing that our vision can be blurred by illusions, then it was very worth me posting this raw. No other word here.
Teach me, Lord, to be content with this day today. I give thanks for this day, for all you have given me and all you are doing.
4 Comments
Great comments and pictures. Thank you for sharing this. I know it has been difficult for you to write. You did a great job!
Thank you! Yes, a hard post. Something I am going to dwell on for quite a long time.
Thank you,Cara, for sharing this difficult post to remind us of the joy we have in knowing our Lord. He has given us so much and provided and protected us even in ways we do not always realize. As you say, we are told to love Him, to serve Him, to thank Him and to have joy and praise Him in ALL things. When our son died in an automobile accident (I should say met by the angels, carried up and into the open arms of Jesus), what brought my family through was, even in our grief and in spite of the pain, praising Him and thanking Him in ALL things. Our words during those days were also, we give praise in all things for we love you, Lord, and your ways are better than my ways, indeed.
Thank you again, Cara, for your beautiful and humble reminder.
Thank you for your reminder in the midst of deep pain and loss. Thank you for reading and commenting❤️. Bless you, anonymous friend.