I am, by nature, a thinker. Ask my husband. Always thinking, always processing, always have something I’m writing. I suppose that is why when my head hits the pillow, on most nights, lately, I drop off to sleep. My brain, seriously, communicates with the rest of the body and says, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m done.”
For most of my life, it was worry that consumed my thoughts. Erma Bombeck’s famous quote, “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” Give me something to fixate on and I could take that worry for the ride of it’s life.
All the while, I have been studying my Bible, praying, and seeking the Lord. Before you say, oh, but look, you have a house. You have a spouse. You have a job keeping your family afloat.
See, here’s the thing. There was a time when that wasn’t the case. We lost our house to foreclosure. We had to declare bankruptcy. We lost nearly everything. So, we have been there. I know what it feels like to lose it all. I know what it feels like to sit in a hospital for a week on end with a child, praying for the correct diagnosis. We had two children with seizure disorders. They have since grown out of the disorders. There is a fear, deep seeded, that comes to haunt me in the night, what if we lose it all again? What if the seizures return?
And in this season, God has given me treasures far beyond I could ask or imagine.
Hebrews 11:13-16 These all died in faith, although they had not received the things that were promised. But they saw them from a distance, greeted them, and confessed that they were foreigners and temporary residents on the earth. Now those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they were thinking about where they came from, they would have had an opportunity to return. But they now desire a better place– a heavenly one. Therefore, God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
Today is temporary and fleeting. It may feel long and hard. In the moments in the hospitals, in the bankruptcy court, in the hard days of losing our house, yet, God was faithful in it all. Here’s what I’m learning, my house, my things, I can’t take it with me anyway, it’s all the temporary. So, I am learning to fix my eyes. I am learning to seek a homeland. I want to tell as many people as I can about Jesus in my writing, in my speaking and in my actions.
And my past? Well, this section speaks to that as well. I don’t need to keep bringing that up either. I don’t need to think about where I came from, my past is behind me. God has used it to shape me, just as he is using today’s circumstances to shape me now. So we fix our eyes. We desire a better place.
I hope and pray that God is not ashamed to be called my God, which leads me to this scene in Chariots of Fire. I hope you enjoy.
So, my friends, let us fix our eyes on the one who gives us joy. We are the church. Be the church to one another. Let us share with one another in need. Let us carry the weight of the ones who have need. Ask the Lord where to spend your time. If you have need, ask. If you have plenty, serve.
Much love.
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