Light

Last night we watched a movie called, Free Guy and I wasn’t lost,but i certainly did not get every reference to video games (are they even called that anymore?). My kids were cracking up and I’m afraid I asked way too many times, wait, I see what happened, what is it referencing?Am I really this old?

This advent season has a of hard. I know pain will just be with me. I am continuing to adjust my heart on this one. Though, not having a migraine for almost three weeks is a game changer. Grateful for the respite. I was watching a video of myself three years ago and observing my pace and my step. It’s changed for me. i don’t walk as fast as I did, but I’m still walking. My life is different, I don’t walk four or five miles a day. I have shifted my focus to accommodate.

As i was speaking with a friend this weekend, I realized that I had been very hard on myself lately about my pace and the distance. I was still walking. i am still getting out and moving. I realized, like the movie about a subject that i know very little, I had made assumptions in my mind and accepted them as truth. By asking questions and having questions pointed at me, I was able to think and process.

I have also long accepted that if I tell people that I’m always in pain, I will make someone else uncomfortable or talk too long or even worse, be labeled as a complainer. Yet, this weekend taught me, it’s okay to answer the questions. it’s okay to ask the questions. Both have been instructive to me.

Reading and rereading the book of John in the past few days reminds me that the Light who came into the world shed beautiful light on a world that would rather go back to bed. Hide under the covers. Believe that the problem is someone or something else. Yet, if there is anything I am learning, God is interested in me dealing with my stuff first and then allow Him to show my next steps.

There is a song by Chris Tomlin called, Be the moon.

I really appreciate this picture, reflecting the light of Jesus, right where I am, even in this moment. How can I reflect his light when I have (fill in the blank) going on? God asks me to reflect his light, while acknowledging my feelings, that they would not be my guide. Humbling myself under His grace, He knows better than I. My feelings are not to be my guide.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.”
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John 1:1-5 NASB1995

So to focus my mind on the truth. What i know to be true from this passage in John.

• The Word was in the beginning (2x)-no start date
• He was with God-He is separate and yet part of God
• He is God
• He is the creator of all
• Nothing came into being without him
• Life is found in him. In His life we find the light
• Light shines in the darkness and it still shines no matter what the darkness understands
• His light is eternal

I use this list as an example of how thinking and pondering the truth changes my thinking, moves my mind to focusing on Jesus. I remember the truth and my heart and mind moves. Nothing has changed circumstantially, it’s the Holy Spirit teaching and guiding. I can be thankful for the truth.

God is good.