Lockdown

We moved to this house over a year ago. There have been things that have bothered me, but I haven’t moved on these. I think, in my mind, I know that some things just aren’t a big deal. Until today. A bunch of our screens have holes in them. We have a cat who is obsessed with the outdoors and stuck his head out of the hole. (It wasn’t as big before he stuck his head out.) We also realized that our front windows have NO screens. things like this, until we need the open windows. Fresh air.

Today, I sat and waited for information on a soft lockdown in our school district. A fugitive on the loose and the schools in the area responded. Everything is fine, i guess. However, what was impressed upon me, we have good systems in place. We received phone call, emails and i was grateful. These are things that i didn’t know i need, well, until i do.

Have i ever said, I don’t know how you can handle this? No, but I sometimes think it. I sometimes wonder how a person makes it through the trauma. We don’t know how we will respond in trials, until we are in the middle.

Here’s the part I’m learning: Every time i walk through the fire, i have a choice. “I can trust God in the famine, I can bless him in the feast. God has been God for a long time. Final word. Finish line.” Sean Curran, Catch Me Singing.

I have trouble typing that everything is going to be alright. I have trouble seeing past what is happening in my life right now. Maybe I’m not supposed to do that. Maybe I’m just supposed to be faithful in this moment. Maybe I won’t know if the pain will end. May the pain will end. Either way, I need to be singing. I need it.

The breeze just passed through, the cool air blowing on me. Reminding me i don’t understand this. I do have an understanding of God. I can trust Faithful God, for each step. one. At. A. Time.