It is only because Jesus Christ that I am alive. song on the radio right now.
I woke up quite early this morning to a feeling a panic. The man hasnt called about the house or returned Joshua’s phone call. In my sleep dazed mind, thoughts of fear, homelessness, guilt threatened to overwhelm me. So I turned on a light (much to Joshua’s chagrin) and began my daily reading in my Bible. I read in Exodus about when the Lord passed by Moses but Moses could do behold the face of God. He would die but His glory passed by and Moses could see His back. This is the God we serve today. The same glory, the same, incredible holiness is available to us.
I have moments where I literally wish i could pick up the phone and call Him. Hear His voice! Yet, I read his word and His voice, while not audible, is still available to me. I know that I will look back on this time and remember His faithfulness. I also read this Psalm which I know that God meant for me to hear today.
Psalm 16 (New International Version)
Psalm 16
A miktam of David. [a]
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
3 As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight. [b]
4 The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave, [c]
nor will you let your Holy One [d] see decay.
11 You have made [e] known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
I especially am grateful for the Lord always before me…especially at night. I know that my own thoughts can threaten me but when I read His word, I am comforted. This is His problem…where we will live. My hope cannot be in humans. I need to keep His word by me. I need to find some notecards. i keep saying this I just have to do it today.
So this morning, I had an Ella come and cuddle with me. It was so cute to cuddle and walk away from ugly thoughts into the light of children. They truly are a blessing from the Lord.
We spent the evening laughing with friends. It is good when my jaw hurts from laughing to much. The kids all enjoyed their time with their friends. 6 adults, 12 kids. No arguments. No fights. Everyone just had fun. It lightened the load. Joshua and I went home smiling.
Noah and Danny had their swim lesson yesterday. They are learning to float. To trust in the water that the floatie will keep them up. It took a long time for them to rest in that fact. I watched them with great interest. Noah talked to the instructor the entire time. LOL. Danny held onto whatever he could find.
Luke got to see the movie Alvin and the Chipmunks this week with my mom. He laughed so hard, I guess. I love to listen that kiddo laughing. He has a infectious laugh. As I have gone from appointment to appointment with Danny and now with ella, I saw a spirit of fear erupting in our Luke. He truly was scared of everything. Then we started watching the Veggie tales again. I think see the Pirates Who Dont Do Anything movie helped spur me on. He started singing God is bigger than the boogie man. Slowly and carefully, Luke’s fears have started to dissapate. Isnt that amazing? The faith of a little child. That is what God asks us to have, isnt it?
Noah has started to take off in his writing. All because I have started to have him write on the computer! He is writing well. He needs to write some emails and our computer is starting to freeze up constantly. He also has just about finished another series of books called Pendragon. They are long books! I love to watch him read…no matter what is surrounding him, he continues reading. Nothing disturbs him. LOL.
Joshua has so much on his plate right now. Pray that he can prioritize well to know with wisdom what tasks need to be done. It was good to see him laughing last night. Remembering Gods goodness and blessings. He is busy in the kitchen as I write making a second oven pancake because everyone is STiLL hungry. Loves to tinker in the kitchen.
Oh, Lord, deliver even this day. We love you.
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