The future

July 7, 2022, I had no idea my life was going to change. i had worries. I had plans. I didn’t know that the next day I would be on an ambulance headed downtown to Northwestern hospital. I’m glad I didn’t know. I’m glad I don’t know my future, but friends, we worry about the what if’s in our lives as if we do.

If you are anything like me, we spend an inordinate amount of time either regretting our past or fearing our future. And if this past season has taught me anything, my area of control is quite minuscule. But when I set my mind in my past, raking up mistakes or wishes, I am in a place that is out of my reach. When i set my mind on my future and am sure of a certain course, here again, I have decided to be a fortune teller.

Worry displaces my mind from where I need to be. Here. In this moment, with this day, with this time in my life not comparing, running the race set before me. Today. This is the great mystery we hold, none of us are running to a medium to foretell our future, yet we worry our way to headaches, stomachaches and heartaches trying to figure it out.

Looking back I would not have wanted to know. I can say this with complete confidence. So, ordering my mind today.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.”

Friends, it is so easy for me to spiral when I am in pain. Pain makes life a short fuse. By nature, I am a sarcastic person. I can be gentle, but especially when the body hurts, rejoicing is hard. Yet, you’ll notice that Paul has no caveats for circumstances or issues. Rejoice. find the joy. I need to search for the joy more than look for the pain. The other point I see here is “all men.” Literally, everyone. This morning I woke up and checked my email and immediately became frustrated. And then, two things became true at once, 1. Why am I opening my phone before the Word? 2. Intention. I get upset when people misunderstand me, I need to look at the heart here.

Philippians 4:4-5

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Paul with the imperatives. The commands. This isn’t a suggestion. The weight on my chest for the concerns of my day is not God given. I worry about the very thing that i cannot see and honestly quite grateful. (If I think it through) He works all these things out. Every time. My man made fixes and solutions really never work. Commands for me, promises as well. Peace. A friend said recently, intentional and attentional thinking. Where having parts of the Word memorized is a huge help. Paying attention to where my mind has landed. I’m worried about what? Prayer. Thanksgiving. Annnnd Peace.

Philippians 4:6-7

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
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A whole sermon series could be written on this verse alone, me thinks. I just spent time in the concordance on the word true. Each word here is full and deserves our attention. Not a quick glance.

Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭5‬-‭9‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

In studying and taking my time, my heart and mind quiet. I write these words, not because I did anything, but the peace settles when I take my mind off whatever is not verse 8. True, honorable, right, pure, excellent, worthy of praise. Intentional thinking. Making my brain work for God’s glory not for a constant spiral.

I’ve been walking recently without my phone. I’m noticing beauty again. I’m hearing the birds. I am passing by owners training their dogs and smiling. I notice the girls playing fast pitch softball (and honestly hustle way on lol). My mind pays attention to the world around me. I’ve started using Focus on my iPhone. Silencing my phone to the constant notifications. Being more actively present in the current place. Who’s in front of me?

I have a long way to go. The phone needs to be away significantly more than it is right now. I have been granted another day. I woke up. simply, I am here.